Blue Jay!

Blue Jay!, acrylic, 24 in x 24 in

Just having fun, lots of layers.

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Pluck!

Pluck. Acrylic, 24 in x 24 in

Chickadee

Chickadee, Acrylic on Masonite, 24 in x 24 in

I havent painted since art school, i just felt i couldn’t paint at all, i hated everything i did. During a bout of depression, i suddenly picked up a brush and just started painting freehand. I blocked in the bird, then added tones in raw umber, and just added layers. Everything is not perfect and i like that. I dont want realism, i want a looser style and movement.

It did help a bit with the depression, but it never goes away, just abates.

Copy of Durer Wing

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Copy of Durer Wing, polychromos coloured pencils on Canson drawing paper

this is our homework for this week, we could have chosen the Hare, but I wanted a challenge. Boy did I get it! He is really into way too much detail than me, so not an exact copy, but pretty close. I’m happy with it.

Evasive Maneuvers

 

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Evasive Maneuvers , Polychromos CP and Rembrant pastels on Fabriano WC hot press

I decided to go with an ethereal look for this. It’s time for me to stop practicing and do some real artwork for a change!

I combined many mediums for this, I did the background in pastels, as well as the highlights (yellows). I did the detail in CP but I wasn’t happy with it. Maybe I miss my pastels too much 🙂

I think I will reproduce this with pastels only.

I will be attending a trade convention this week, it has been a source of panic for me for the last week. Real panic, as in panic attack. I find myself telling myself I don’t want to be around people, all they are, are hurtful and I just can’t deal with comments and criticism right now.

I have been out of the military for about three weeks now and I had a trigger this week that put me right back into the toxic workplace I was in my last posting. I was surprised that it was me so much. Panic, crying just not able to handle anything, wanting to run away it all came back.harassment and bullying do so much damage to the human mind. Add military structure into that and it’s devastating.

I haven’t heard from SISIP so I am going ahead and just trying to find whatever job I can but it’s very stressful.

I did get a small severance pay and that there was an ad on Kijiji for a fifth wheel trailer that day that I could afford. It’s older and smaller than what I wanted but I could get it so I went to see it. it was in perfect condition and I bought it on the spot.

They delivered it to my house yesterday and my husband is cleaning it up. I’m going to be doing the decor and it’s going to be my little recluse and get away from everything. I also feel safe now because I am afraid of being homeless and this means I will always have a home. In a few months we will be looking for a pick up to buy and then we can go places or just move it.

 

Cardinal to fight the blues

Cardinal, pastels on Sanded paper

I’ve been very depressed lately, but coming out of it now. It was an effort to paint, but I’m forcing myself. A little cardinal for Diane.

via PressSync