Moose, soft pastels, conte crayons on BFK RIVES paper
Wanted to revisit this moose and try and improve it. I went to a local art school to see about maybe taking a class and imagine my surprise when I walked into the directors office and there on the wall was a huge moose head! I thought I was the only one who liked moose! It was done by a famous artist ( forgot the name) and is her preferred artwork of his. Just a huge moose profile, graphite on a grey paper.
So I just had to redo another moose. I added some colour just to make it interesting. I must have spent 2 hours just in the eye area!
I have turned a corner in my therapy! I was so stuck on the anger towards those who wronged me in the military and caused my breakdown. Just couldn’t get past it.
The therapist gave me an exercise to do everyday, the same time, for half an hour. I was to write down all my angry thoughts on paper. When done, I had to sort out fact from distortion.
Everyday it would start out with “those bastards…..” And all the unfair feelings just would tumble out. I really thought this was pointless and no help.
One day I began as usual, but I was really tired of it. I kept writing, but I wrote this:
Fact: there are a lot of really evil people everywhere. You will gain nothing from fighting them everyday.
I couldn’t believe I wrote that, but I continued and wrote Action. I wrote a few things for me to do.
Then I kept writing, as if I was telling myself to move on etc…. I just couldn’t stop writing good things.
I ended it by writing this: go and leave them in your dust and move on. Shake the dust off your feet and move on.
I suddenly thought about a verse I remembered and looked it up (LDS scriptures)
And shake off the dust of thy feet against those who receive thee not, not in their presence, lest thou provoke them, but in secret; and wash thy feet, as a testimony against them in the day of judgment. D & C 60:15
I actually wrote that out and read it everyday. And it’s a good visual too, whenever it find myself slipping back to anger at what happened.
Two years of therapy and medications.
I feel like painting now and actually moving forward.